I spent a great deal of time in the wilderness, waiting for some crisis or epiphany to make a decision for me. The clear inflection point never arrived. Recently I have been taking labour hire type work, the kind of menial nonsense i was doing 15 years ago.
Last week i worked with a chap who must be in his sixties. This fella would tell me all sorts of stories about his situation: How he tried very hard at school but never could keep up, the bullying that resulted from falling behind, how he had to move away from his family as soon as he was capable, how his wife left him and he suffered the indignity of people advising him on relationships, how he had been victimised in various shared living arrangements, how you couldn't trust homeless people, etc.
What is most striking about this guy is that he evidences no bitterness. He just does the job. More than that, he is extremely generous of spirit, always seeking to share food or talk about bargains he has found.
Where once I would have thouht him and those like him admirable, I found myself despising him. He is the greese that keeps the gears of this shitshow lubricated. It is upon his sincere and earnest labour that the ugly, browning monstrosity pearches. In my heart, i suspect his sad and pathetic existence is a vision of my own future.
I know it it a tired observation, but I'll say it all the same: The upper echelons are only half the problem. Their Machiavellian predation requires a deficiency in common man. The relationship is truly akin to that of animal predator and animal prey. My enemy, as much as i have one, is the willfull ignorance and blithe compliance of my contemporaries.
Maybe expecting them to actively throw sand in the gears is a bit much. I would just prefer that they didnt smile while they got shafted.
If you're out of a job, at least you won't be putting wear and tear on your car.